You’ve heard of red-backed spiders
Upon the toilet seat
But there are other perils
That you are sure to meet.

The other day at Goomeri
When to the loo I strolled
I came across something scary
Living in the toilet bowl.

At first I thought the caretaker
Had put a freshener in the bog
But when I looked more closely
…It was a bloody big green frog!

I didn’t want to pee on it
And I really needed to go
So I thought that if I flushed the loo
The giant frog would go.

Well, it disappeared with one good flush
So I sat down with relief
But it wasn’t long before I felt
Something on my right cheek.

That bloody big green frog reached out
One long and stretchy leg
And latched on to my bum with the suction caps
On the bottom of his feet.

Well, I moved my ‘a’ like an athlete
And leapt into the air –
There’s nothing like a big green frog
To give you quite a scare.

So when you go to a bush toilet,
Especially at night,
A bloody big green frog might lurk
So you’d better take a light
‘Cos they wait until you’re comfortable
To give you one hell of a fright!