This is my version of the Big Bang Theory…. take one hairy huntsman spider, watch him run under the fridge, hold can of insect spray and spray liberally under the (gas) fridge. KABOOM! Fell out of my van backwards running around yelling Holy Shit! and beating out my eyebrows. No great damage done and one huge lesson learned …. and I still don’t know where the spider is!!

 The Big Bang Theory

A hairy huntsman spider
Came visiting one day
And I knew I wouldn’t be happy
Until I’d hit him with insect spray.

I kept my eye upon him
As he wandered to and fro,
And I reached carefully for the killer can ….
He really had to go!

I think he knew what was happening
As he scampered across the floor
And I pressed the nozzle of the spray
Once, twice, and then once more.

He now became quite erratic
As he staggered around the room
Looking for a hidey-hole –
But I got him – yep- KABOOM!

You see, he skittered under the fridge
Thinking he was clever,
But I was so much smarter than he
He was off to the Never Never!

Unfortunately, I soon found out
Insect spray and gas combined
Create a mighty explosion
Of the fiery, blue flame kind!

I think my eyebrows will grow back
And my pride will heal I’m sure
Because when the gas exploded
I was thrown clean out the door!

My heart was palpitating
As I scrabbled off the ground,
Holy Shit! were the words I stuttered
As I ran round and round.

Well, I’m camped beside this river,
There’s not another soul in sight,
Who would think that a hairy spider
Would give me such a fright..

I’m blaming him for the mighty bang
(I was lucky no damage was done)
And the spider might now be vaporised
But I concede – This battle he won!!

Rosemary Robinson
February 2017