Middle aged men in Lycra
Holding in their saggy skin
Pedal the country’s byways
Their youthful hearts within
Like multi-coloured parrots
They flock to coffee shops
With their skinny legs wrapped up in black
And their luminous green tops.
They order decaf lattes
And boast about their ride
Complaining about the drivers
Who force them to the side.
And how the gravel makes it hard,
And how perilous it can be
When they’re forced to ride in the bike lane
Made for them, especially.
Then once they’re fuelled with caffeine
They’re back on the road again,
The blues and greens and pinks and reds
Flying to the left hand lane.
I reckon they think they look real good
In their body hugging Lycra
Where their lumps and bumps are on display
As they pedal down the highway.
I’m sure they do enjoy themselves
These multi-coloured blokes
That pedal around the countryside
Annoying driving folks.
‘cos whether they’re on country roads
Or on suburban streets,
They challenge the car driver
To perform amazing feats.
We dodge and weave and stop and go
As they ride six bikes abreast,
Chatting loudly to each other
They seem ignorant of the rest.
Although their shirts of many colours
Make a bright and showy sight,
I wish they’d take their liquorice Lycra legs
And pedal off into the night.
February 10, 2014 at 12:48 pm
This is great…have to share it…in fact the whole blog is fantastic and should be published as a hard copy book complete with pics and maps
February 10, 2014 at 1:13 pm
Thanks Rex. Have fun doing it but never knew how much time it would take when I started. Glad it’s appreciated
February 10, 2014 at 8:29 pm
And the final verse should be about the clippy cloppy shoes they wear, which are soooo annoying.
Ruins the Saturday morning coffee for the rest of us, the pong is bad enough, let alone put up with the overweight gut squeezed into that revolting Lycra, and the clip clop is the last straw!
You know, as a wise person once said, Lycra is a stretch fabric, but it is only meant to stretch so far!!!
February 10, 2014 at 11:35 pm
Love it! Forgot about the shoe noise. Got my revenge recently on a very steep winding road with 4 cars behind me all with bikes on top. Normally I’d pull over to let faster cars pass but this time I let them crawl up the hills behind slow old Brutus. It felt good!
February 14, 2014 at 6:02 pm
I’m an occasional bike rider myself but I have to agree with you. I reckon you should submit your poem to the Editor of the RAC’s ‘Horizons’ magazine at email@example.com. As well as raising a laugh in a much bigger audience, you would stand a good chance to win a year’s free Roadside Assistance. Graham
February 15, 2014 at 10:39 am
Thanks Graham. Will do!